The Importance of Open and Honest Communication in Relationships
Let’s talk about something that’s at the heart of every healthy relationship—whether it’s with your partner, family, or even friends: open and honest communication. It sounds simple, but it’s one of the most powerful tools we have to build trust, resolve conflicts, and truly connect with the people we care about.
Why Open and Honest Communication Matters
When we communicate openly and honestly, we create a space where both people can express their thoughts, feelings, and needs without fear of judgment or rejection. It’s about being authentic, listening actively, and making sure both people feel heard and respected. This kind of communication leads to deeper intimacy, mutual understanding, and healthier relationships overall.
But what happens when communication breaks down? Well, when we’re not being open or honest, or when we’re communicating in unhealthy ways, it can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and emotional distance.
So, how can you recognize whether you’re practicing open and honest communication versus unhealthy communication? Let’s take a look at five common scenarios.
1. Expressing Your Needs
• Open and Honest Communication:
You clearly express what you need from your partner or friend without expecting them to read your mind. You say something like, “I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. Could you help me with the chores this weekend?”
• Unhealthy Communication:
You keep your feelings bottled up and expect the other person to guess what’s wrong. When they don’t, you feel resentful and may say something passive-aggressive like, “I guess I’ll just do everything myself.”
2. Addressing Conflict
• Open and Honest Communication:
When a disagreement arises, you address it calmly, sharing how you feel and asking for a solution together. For example, “I felt hurt when you didn’t check in with me. Can we talk about how we can communicate better?”
• Unhealthy Communication:
You avoid the conflict altogether, letting it simmer until it builds into anger or resentment. Or, you may lash out in frustration without explaining the root of the problem: “You never care about what I need!”
3. Receiving Feedback
• Open and Honest Communication:
When someone gives you feedback, even if it’s hard to hear, you listen with an open mind and try not to get defensive. You might say, “I didn’t realize I was doing that. Thank you for letting me know, and I’ll work on it.”
• Unhealthy Communication:
You react defensively, taking the feedback as a personal attack and shutting down the conversation: “You’re always criticizing me! I can’t do anything right, can I?”
4. Talking About Emotions
• Open and Honest Communication:
You feel comfortable sharing your emotions, even the tough ones. For example, “I’ve been feeling anxious lately, and I think it’s affecting how I interact with you. I’d like to talk about it.”
• Unhealthy Communication:
You suppress your emotions or mask them with other behaviors like sarcasm or anger. Instead of admitting that you’re anxious, you might snap at your partner or shut down emotionally, creating distance.
5. Setting Boundaries
• Open and Honest Communication:
You set clear, respectful boundaries and communicate them without fear. For example, “I need some alone time this weekend to recharge. I’ll be back to spend time with you afterward.”
• Unhealthy Communication:
You struggle to set boundaries and may agree to things you don’t want to do. When you feel overwhelmed, you lash out or avoid the person instead of discussing your needs: “I’m just so tired of you asking me for things!”
Why It’s Hard (But Worth It)
I get it—open and honest communication isn’t always easy. It requires vulnerability, emotional awareness, and sometimes, the courage to have difficult conversations. It’s tempting to avoid conflict, sugarcoat your feelings, or simply expect the other person to “just know” what’s wrong. But the truth is, no one can read your mind, and honest communication is the key to building trust and connection.
When we communicate openly, we not only strengthen our relationships but also help ourselves grow emotionally. It’s a skill that takes practice, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. And I promise you, it’s worth it!
Ready to Improve Your Communication?
If you feel like communication has been a struggle in your relationships, it’s okay to ask for help. Whether it’s with a partner, friend, or family member, learning to communicate openly and honestly can transform the way you connect. And if you’d like support in improving your communication skills, I’m here to guide you through that process.
Warmly,
Savery Bakker, RPC-c
Registered Professional Counsellor